There was a time that if you were feeling any emotion, you'd have to explain it in a full sentence. "I'm feeling down," or "My cat's giving me the silent treatment again," they'd say. Then, as time went on, we had acronyms for this type of feeling, and even events (ex: ISITBTA, I slipped in the bath tub... again). Now instant messaging has evolved once more. If you want to explain a story or express yourself, use an emoticon.

I'll give you a moment to stop laughing at the very clever name.

Anyway, I doubt I even have to explain what an emoticon is, but I will. Emoticons are those adorable little icons, like the universally known happy face: . But some people just don't know how to use the emoticons. I have people go up to me online and say "Hey Robby u are teh roxors!!1 ". Not only did they call me Robby, but they used the tongue smiley all wrong. That's why I have compiled a list on how to properly use emoticons in their original context.

"I have a banana in my mouth! "

"Don't mind me, I've been genetically engineered with a zipper for a mouth. "

"Hey, why are you putting your tongue in my ear? I am surprised by this action."

"AZNS ONLY!!1! !!!one!"

"Holy on a second, I'm talking on my RIDICOUSLY LARGE cell phone. "

"Oh no, I soiled myself again! "

"Wanna see my impression of Angelina Jolie? "

"Away message: I'm not here right now, I've gone to Wimbeldon. "

"What time is it?"
"It's about 3:10. " (Credit goes to Veronica Mineyko for that one.)

"Brb, I'm watching my neighbours fuck. "

"2 kewl 4 skool!!~~~!! "

"I'm going to lick your face! "

"I just saved fifteen bucks swithing to Geico! "

"Oh cruel fate! Oh my God, it's right behind me---AAAAAGH!!! (squish) "

"Help! My private plane crashed in the middle of the ocean, and I managed to swim to a small island with only three palm trees. Fortunately, this emoticon describes the island perfectly: . PLEASE SEND HELP! Wow, I'm really lucky that despite the fact it was immersed in salt water, my laptop still works and it has wireless Internet."

"Yeah, do you have anything that's not European currency... and that doesn't look like the masks from Super Mario Bros. 2 for NES? "

"Marty, we need enough electricity from a lightning bolt to power the flux capacitor to send you back to 1985! But first, go to the school dance to make sure your mom and dad kiss, otherwise you will NEVER HAVE EXISTED!"

"It'll cost you $15. "

"It must be the radiation from the nuclear plant that's causing my... uh, problem. "

" DUDE WHERES MY CAR? LOLOLO!!!!!!!"

"Yeah, this joke has been done enough times. "

So that's it, more or less. Now you guys have no excuses. I hope you will all stop acting like such fucking idiots on the Internet and that u can be as l337 as iam LOLOLOLO!!!!12

- Rob Quinones